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Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Something Old, Something New ...

I rediscovered the filing cabinet that houses my many unfinished projects, with a curiosity and relish that has been gathering dust along with the files. Some of the ideas I’ve had over the years still resonate with me, though with a fresh mind may take a different form than originally intended. If you continue reading this blog, you may happen upon them sometime throughout this ongoing story.

That filing cabinet has haunted me for years. The ghosts of characters that have yet to breathe their life into this world & dreams that are yet to be are calling to be fully realized. This is an opportunity to take action and shift my own view of myself. “I am now a person who sees things through.” This may be just another statement to add to my identity. Cool. Setting this intention is part of breaking the old mold and becoming more fully who I am.

I was in Manhattan yesterday, my other home. Walking up Columbus Avenue with my mother and best friend from college, I had a chance to honor who I was when I lived there and take a look at who I am now. Physical memory allowed me to effortlessly jump into the rhythm and stride of NYC’s unique sidewalk choreography. My heart rate increased inviting my new suburban self to join the dance.

My former neighborhood has had many face-lifts in the seven years I’ve been gone. Stores & restaurants that had been mainstays during my Upper West Side life have disappeared and become something other, someone else’s base. Living in the city one sees change happening all the time. The turnover is part of the familiar walk down each and every street. It’s a bit like being with your kids daily, the growth seems gradual. But, when you haven’t seen your city or your child in a while, the change can appear dramatic.

When I left the city, after sixteen years, I made a fissure in my urban self and dared that self to shatter completely. The shards have retained the essential memory of a life well lived and have reformed into something unexpected. When I think about the unmet dreams & goals I had when I moved to the city, like the myriad unrealized projects in my filing cabinet, I sigh and then imagine. The sigh contains the total satisfaction and love for a life that took a different path. Imagination steps in to discover what is on the horizon of dreams.

This is Yoga off the mat.

There are things I will always miss about living in the city as now there are things I’d miss if lived outside the greenery of my current landscape. There are those ghostly characters requiring resuscitation or burial and vibrant ones eager to make their voices heard.

To all the untold & unfinished stories past & present...

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